Okay I will start with apologies for not writing in so long! My life has been a crazy, beautiful mess lately...but I finally have my feet grounded!
Here are a few updates....
Semester one of medical school .... CHECK!
Moved out of house in GA.... check
Signed divorce papers.....check
Said bye to my baby Bentley..... wish i wasn't saying "check" here
Holidays with the family..... in progress!
Put my life back together... CHECK!
So you are probably wondering how I handled all of this? As gracefully as I knew how that is for sure. My last month in school was terrible and amazing at the same time! It was an emotional roller coaster to say the least. I spent most nights arguing with my husband who insisted that we get marriage counseling and continually called me immature and a "coward" for not giving him a THIRD chance, because "a marriage is about working through things together". Talk about making me laugh. He probably should have thought about that before he brought another woman in our life and decided that partying and lying to his wife was more important than supporting her.
So even though it felt like I couldn't escape the drama, my friends came through to save me. Great friends.... friends who picked me up at rock bottom and guided me through the darkness. If it weren't for them, well, I wouldn't know how I would have gotten through it.
And then of course is my family. My amazing family. My sister flew down to help me pack up my belongings and helped me get through what seemed the longest hardest days of my life..... the ending of the last 7 years.. and the beginning of my future.
Leaving my dog broke my heart.... still does... brings tears just writing about it. It is so sad to have to give up something that means so much to you, something that never broke your heart and was always there for you. If only men could be like dogs haha.
Signing divorce papers was actually liberating. I can't figure out why I let myself believe that what he put me through was okay. I remember having a very very long convo with one of my great friends in Dominica a month before I found out about my "husband's" deceit. I pretty much told him the life story about my "husband" and I before shit hit the fan. And even then, my friend asked me why I put up with the things I do. He said I deserve so much more. After about 3 hours of conversation with him, I realized that he was right. It takes someone point out what bothers you to realize that it really isn't okay. The person who put in the effort, went the extra mile, had unconditional love and support was me.... never him. Our life wasn't about US, it was about HIM. When I was uncomfortable with something, I was forced to deal with it. Well now I don't have to deal with it. I don't have to wonder if he is telling me the truth, wonder what he is hiding from me or cry myself to sleep at night. He can't ever hurt me again and that is a great feeling.
It couldn't be better timing actually..... New year, new semester, NEW LIFE.
For everyone who has been there for me... THANK YOU, you know who you are! And I am also thanking God for the sweet surprises along the way!!! ;) Here is to a NEW BEGINNING! Something I like to call sweet anticipation.......
