I've still got my glass slipper!

Who really defined stress? Webster's defines it as pressure or tension exerted on a material object... or a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances. I would love to say that exerted pressure tension or demanding circumstances was all of it.... but that would just be the tip of the iceberg. In exactly 16 days I will sign divorce papers, move out of my home, leave my friends, and most heartbreaking thing of all, say goodbye to my dog. I have such anxiety for that day..... walking into that house, knowing that when I close the door, I will never see it again. That means I will never sleep in my bed again, never hang out with my neighbors, never make dinner in my kitchen, never play with my dog in the backyard ever again. My dog has been more important to me than anything and i can't stop the constant flow of tears every time i think about it. Stress to me is uncharted territory... what's next? I would like to hope that my share of heart ache is over with. My dream of happily ever after, turned to dust well before the clock struck midnight.... which is hardly a fairy tale at all. I guess if I haven't lost my glass slipper yet, my prince charming can't find it right? He is out there... I know... God would not have taught me to have such passion, love and honesty if there wasn't someone out there to share it with. Someone who has the capacity to love with all of their heart and who believes that a fairy tale can exist.

16 days and I will have finished my first semester of medical school. Which in itself is a step in the right direction. My only prayer is that he will guide me through the darkness.......

note to self....

Soul searching has led me to a heightened level of self-awareness. I have spent the past two weeks trying to understand myself. Trying to find a link between my heart and my head. Not only have I come to integrate the two, but I have also found some pieces of me that have been hiding for awhile now.
Note to self....
you wake up in the morning for the pure pleasure of inhaling the aroma of fresh brewed coffee.
you sing, even when you know people can hear you.
you have the biggest heart and even have the capacity to share it with strangers.
you believe in the power of prayer and the Lord's guidance.
your family is you reason you are a good person.
you look better as a blonde.
you are sentimental.
you couldn't live with out your ipod.
you are a strong woman
you would rather give gifts than receive.
you are quirky.
you wish you could eat chocolate cake for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I have to believe everything happens for a reason. Light was shed on the darkness in my life so that the burdens became front and center and I could handle them head on. I will get through this because of who I am.
Note to self..... thank you.


Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own
understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He
shall direct your paths.
- Proverbs 3:5,6

Eternal summer!

November what??
Everyday here is eternal summer.... I sweat in a tank top and get sunburned on my way to class. No crisp air, pumpkins, scarecrows, falling leaves or day light savings time. I have completely forgot what month I am in! I miss the change of seasons so much. I miss being surrounded by the autumn smells and harvest decor. The warm apple pie cooking in the oven or applesauce on the stove and smell of the burning pumpkin after it is lit for halloween. I miss home so much. Like I have said before, it is the little things after all that stay with us forever.

But I guess November means good things..... I have exactly 4 weeks left of class. I have done well on my tests so far and this is the home stretch... literally. I can almost taste the Starbucks now ;) Definitely my first stop when I get to the states!

1 month 1 week until I fly home... and 45 days till Christmas! Yes I'm counting!!!