Who really defined stress? Webster's defines it as pressure or tension exerted on a material object... or a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances. I would love to say that exerted pressure tension or demanding circumstances was all of it.... but that would just be the tip of the iceberg. In exactly 16 days I will sign divorce papers, move out of my home, leave my friends, and most heartbreaking thing of all, say goodbye to my dog. I have such anxiety for that day..... walking into that house, knowing that when I close the door, I will never see it again. That means I will never sleep in my bed again, never hang out with my neighbors, never make dinner in my kitchen, never play with my dog in the backyard ever again. My dog has been more important to me than anything and i can't stop the constant flow of tears every time i think about it. Stress to me is uncharted territory... what's next? I would like to hope that my share of heart ache is over with. My dream of happily ever after, turned to dust well before the clock struck midnight.... which is hardly a fairy tale at all. I guess if I haven't lost my glass slipper yet, my prince charming can't find it right? He is out there... I know... God would not have taught me to have such passion, love and honesty if there wasn't someone out there to share it with. Someone who has the capacity to love with all of their heart and who believes that a fairy tale can exist.
16 days and I will have finished my first semester of medical school. Which in itself is a step in the right direction. My only prayer is that he will guide me through the darkness.......
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