Le Miserables, without the Le and the S

Yeah, you got it. I'm miserable. I just finished my third week of class and the "mini" exam is in a week and two days. I have piles of notes to memorize and even more sample questions to attempt to answer. These questions are no joke either. Our class is 400+ students right now. They expect that by next semester, half of those people will have failed out. And let me tell you it is thanks to their ridiculous multiple choice questions. You get 120-130 questions and two hours and a half hours to do them. So with long vignettes as the questions (which takes 3 minutes to read and understand), you are supplied with five choices. Each of which are very similar, or part of a which is false or which is correct theme. So of those answers, you are quite sure you know the answer. You draw the dreaded circle around the letter and are actually quite confident that you are right. DUN DUN DUnnnnn... then you see the answer. The difference between the answer that you chose and the correct one was the prefix intra, instead of inter. So as you are trying to quickly answer this questions in the time constraint, you seem to glaze over the single important detail. WTF right? haha So now I have come to the conclusion that it isn't how much you know, it is how you are able to answer the demented questions that are thrown at you. What a boost of confidence right?? Especially when it is a topic you have studied for days and know cold!

I am also miserable for another reason. Being that I have only this weekend and next weekend left to study, I need to utilize my time wisely. I do not want to be one of the students that fails my first mini. I mean it is a BIG deal, this is the rest of my life we are talking about. But unfortunately, life's throwing some serious curve balls at me that I am having turning them into home runs. Truthfully, I shouldn't even have to dream of these things, but for some reason, in my first semester of medical school, it is all falling in on me. Why me, why now???

"I never thought I'd be in this place, there must be some mistake... and I don't know how much more I can take. I am breaking at the cracks, and everything goes black. It's another heart attack, and I can't handle that. " Thanks Colbie.

So needless to say, I am trying to get through this, lacking any real support system. (aside from my awesome friends I have met here) The one person who should be there for me right now, is falling into the background.

Colbie also said....

"If that's the way you love, you've got to learn so much.... I've cried, so go on, go on and break my heart, I'll be okay, there is nothing you can do to me, that is ever gonna break me, so go on, go on and leave my love out on the street, I am fearless, you better believe I'm fearless."

Tomorrow starts the marathon of studying, and I am leaving my worries behind, because I don't deserve that.... I deserve to be FEARLESS.